The Mogu -once a primitive race of humanoids- now empowered and evolved by the waters of the vale, hold immense power and knowledge. With their discovery of an ancient titan repository on Pandaria, the Mogu, in an attempt to harness and use the knowledge stored within, built the vaults. Proud of their earlier supremacy, the Mogu kept lengthy records of their accomplishments within these vaults. Now guarded by ferocious magical beings, these sacred chambers have remained silent since the mogu’s departure. The Mogu’Shan vaults, with such powerful secrets lay ahead for adventurers and lorewalkers alike.
Early on in FBFs adventures in Pandaria, the guild leadership sent a scouting group of ten heroes to explore and report back, they were not prepared for what lay ahead. They reported back with messages of stone guardians turning to flesh, attacking any intruders who enter the vaults. Having dealt with this initial assault, an encounter with lorewalker Cho only added to the intrigue and our scouts gathered what intel they could and called it a day.
With this new information at hand, the FBF forces prepared for battle, sending in a full force of twenty five to assault the vaults, and the knowledge that stone could turn to flesh… A secret was held deep within the vaults, one that had to be discovered and used, or at least destroyed, before the Horde could get to it.
For many nights the FBF forces battled within the vaults. Morale was low, and the item drops even fewer, but battle on we did, through some of the most interesting encounters to date.
With the guardians dealt with by our scouting team, the FBF forces started off with the second encounter, that of Feng the Keeper of Champion Spirits. After spending 5 hours on Feng, you can get a rough idea on why he is called the accursed. In an encounter that was plagued with problems and much cursing, including disconnects and the occasional idiotic puntable marmot (seriously Punis?), and the many, many... and I do mean many wipes below 10% (including the infamous 0.2% "ei vittu" wipe), Feng was finally put to rest -his job now done- in a classic FBF fashion, with the last attempt of that night. With chat activity on mumble beyond anything experienced so far, adrenaline and emotions were running high with shouts of “I got it! No I don’t! Yes I do!”, “Don’t you dare touch the fire! Whatever you do, get out of the fire!” and the occasional odd confession of punching gnomes, Feng was bested and swarms of Zandalari appeared out of nowhere. Wait, aren’t we on pandaria? Gara’jal the Spiritbinder lay ahead.
But Zandalari? In Pandaria? This must be investigated. Finding what seemed to be a Zandalari invasion force attempting to enter the inner depths of Mogu’shan Vaults and with our objectives being similar, a discussion on perhaps working together ensued. Negotiations broke down when it became apparent that Gara’jal and his minions couldn’t focus hard enough in between mouthfuls of Gnome to agree on terms. Having gotten our Gnomes back from the Zandalari, and with a great shout of “Now ya done makin' me angry!!” from the troll, we made swift work of the priest and his spiritual hallucinations. Ignoring the Terminator impression by the now departed priest, the FBF forces swiftly moved on into the inner depths of Mogu’shan Vaults. Having fought off the invasion force of the Zandalari. The FBF forces, expecting to be heralded as the saviors of the Mogu race, walked in bravely into the depths of the vaults. For surely we would be welcomed in, and our earlier destruction of the initial guardians forgotten… right?
Wrong. Meng Sharpfang, Qiang Steelskin, Sebotai Swiftfoot, and Zian of the Endless Shadow were in wait. Foaming at the mouth in outrage at our perceived invasion, the spirit kings prepared to battle us. The FBF forces attempted to negotiate with the kings, sending in a gnome to try and explain the Zandalari… With one massive attack it became apparent where this was leading. Having resurrected the traditional sacrificial gnome to the loot gods, the Spirit Kings were engaged and defeated in an overly typical headless chicken style that seems to work best in this encounter.
Having been escorted into the depths by Lorewalker Cho, who up to this point had acted as a helpful knowledge source of what waited ahead, yet surprisingly sheepish when it came to actually physically assisting the FBF forces in the encounters, guided us onwards ever deeper into the vaults. However upon further examining the depths, the forces encountered a device that even lorewalker Cho had never heard of. Naturally, as the fountain of knowledge that he is, Lorewalker Cho activated the device, and immediately decided that the best way for him to contribute to the mess created was to observe from a safe distance.
*sigh*… thanks Cho. Staring down Elegon, the FBF forces seemed hesitant to engage, as if the challenge ahead was too great. As they approached the celestial dragon, a sudden rush of power engulfed all those close to him. As if touched by the titans themselves, the FBF forces turned into celestial forms. The engine of Nalak’sha, which gives the dragon it's celestial form, also imbued the FBF forces with the same power for all those within the Empyreal Focuses. With this new found source of power, Elegon was defeated. His existence ending, becoming nothing.
With the machine destroyed, the Mogu power now weakened, Lorewalker Cho “bravely” stepped back and examined the discs that lowered upon Elegon's defeat. It seemed that the Mogu had salvaged and repurposed ancient Titan technology to advance their empire. With this knowledge, the FBF forces had no choice but to move on to the final chamber in the Mogu’shan Vaults, onwards to the aptly named Will of the Emperor.
Emperor Lei Shin and the Mogu race, having harnessed and repurposed the Titan knowledge, had built a gigantic Mogu construct machine. An army of soulless abominations lay silently, as if waiting for a war that never started. Too dangerous to leave alone and no ability to control it, Lorewalker Cho instructed the FBF forces to turn the machine on and battle what would come. Then from behind the door he yelled, "Knock on the door if you survive!"
What lay in wait was wave upon wave of the constructs, with periodic toxic titanic gas filling the chambers, and a co-ordination challenge like never before. The FBF forces having become battle hardened by the bi-annual ballet practice, as well as the earlier challenges in the vaults did not waver, and made swift work of the chaotic encounter.
Having “politely” asked Lorewalker Cho to return, the destruction of the machine was confirmed. Yet instead of rejoicing in victory, the Lorewalker seemed concerned. Wandering what other ancient enemies would pose a threat to the peace in Pandaria.
With their gnomes resurrected, new weapons and armor equipped, the FBF forces now move on to the next challenge at the Heart of Fear. With rumors that the Sha of Fear has corrupted the grand empress of the Mantid, her behavior becoming incresingly erratic and paranoid, the Klaxxi have reluctantly asked for aid. Though being very clear that we are simply being used as a means to an end, the Klaxxi have failed to subdue the Sha and it is up to us to defeat it.
We built the weapons and machines of the alliance... our entire race was sold out to slavery, for money and power... by our treacherous king... they forced us to decorate their gardens… we rebelled…
For our shortcomings, we work twice as hard simply to prove ourselves… the alliance not realizing that it is actually the gnomes that are leading the way now.
Hozen, Mogu, Zandalari… even the Horde had no idea what hit them… with speed that can only be achieved by a true Gnome warrior, General Sraaz the Mighty of the FBF gnomish forces, achieved realm first level 90 warrior, showing the true strength and cunning of our race, and paving the way for other Gnomes to follow.
There are millions of gnomes now, and we have a plan… the world must know that punting is a sin… The uprising to power begins now… With our general leading the way, we shall conquer Pandaria, claim it for the Alliance, and begin our final battle, getting Gnome Paladins.
Video credit to Baronsoosdon.
Twas the time of the year again when the FBF members get together, to join hands, sings songs of merry and catch up on old times. As they were all preparing, with thoughts of the good times ahead, drink, and many saltsticks… little did they know… the gnomes would be back, and they had a plan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JGHI4TAC5U
Operation Gnomeregan was back with a twist. Halfstack and his fellow Gnomelings of the JKL mafia were going to Asikkala (the summer stomping grounds of FBF) with a mission. Recruit as many gnomes as possible.
The operation was an astonishing success, with many a new gnome joining the rank and file of the front lines of FBF. Carsina the Evil, Tac the Insane, Eleador the Brony, and Cabbus the Cutie, are all official members of the gnomish rank and file of FBF.
The most notable conversion comes in the form of Marcius the Hard Headed. With a little persuasion, a lot of spirit flasks, subtle encouragement and gnomish manipulation, FBF is proud to present Töyssy the Speed Bump! Gelbin Mekkatorque himself being so proud of this notable achievement that he sent his personal congratulations to Töyssy in the following letter:
*Muahahahahahahaa…. But seriously, congrats… you will love being a part of the Gnomish rank and file.. never to see loot again, to be forever punted in front of the boss, used as a spice in Orcish cooking, laughed at by your enemies, ridiculed by your friends, forgotten to be healed, and sacrificed to the Mogu gods so that others may gain items in your stead.
Sincerely,
Gelbin Mekkatorque
For Gnomeregan!
p.s: aaaaaahahahahahahahaha”
Needless to say, the FBF annual meet up was a resounding success, reinvigorating the members and preparing them for what lies beyond the mists. The rank and file of the FBF forces not only grew in Gnomish representation, but three more officers were added to the ranks! Congrats to Eleador, Cabbus, and Joukahainen! (bringing the gnomish representation amongst the officer ranks to 4/9) May your “wisdom” help guide us onwards for ever greater loot, many a boss kill, and the occasional Gnomish sacrifice!
Deathwing finally proved to be worthy of his name and suffered a heroic defeat. So now he's, well, dead. Maybe he should've thought about the whole naming policy a bit more before trying to destroy everything we know. After all, there was bound to be consequences.
With the tentacle monster (aka the artist formerly known as Deathwing) down the heroic Dragon Soul is done and Cataclysm has been stopped just in time for summer holidays. Gnomes carried our weary heroes to the nearest beach to enjoy some well-earned R&R. There might be a chance to catch some sun before the mists start rolling in. Marcius refused to be carried by gnomes, however. So no after-party appletinis for him!
Madness of Deathwing 10 HC
Kiril, Fury of Beasts (Illyria)
Maw of the Dragonlord (Punaparta)
Talk about being prepared, Zon’ozz jumped the gun and was way ahead of the curve. With rumors of an Asian style invasion coming to Azeroth, Zon’ozz decided to add some Asian flare into his fight, and enlist the aid of what looked like the “Japanese way of the tentacle” school of martial arts. Unfortunately for him, it’s the Chinese that are invading, and not the Japanese. With a few awkward looks, a couple of red faces, and a few brave gnomes.. we taught the guy a geographical lesson by ping ponging his ass to death leaving no tentacle standing..
Warlord Zon'ozz HC
Horrifying Horn Arbalest (Cartmanus)
Belt of Flayed Skin (Farek)
Grotesquely Writhing Bracers (Joukahainen)
Gauntlets of the Corrupted Vanquisher (Itza, Tohvu)
Seal of the Seven Signs (Joukahainen)
Some people... er, dragons!
While we were battling the endlessly boring tides of what is the Skyrim event in the Dragon Soul we were rudely interrupted by a brash dragon with a funny accent and an attitude problem. The worm even called himself Ultraultra or something. Guess he was absent from the class when they taught young dragons the meaning of subtlety. We quickly grew tired of his high manners and decided to teach him a lesson in respect. Few hours later his pompous behind fell from the sky.
At least that finally shut him up.
Ultraxion HC
Bracers of Looming Darkness (Tipetsu)
Imperfect Specimens 27 and 28 (Joukahainen)
Ledger of Revolting Rituals (Odeliini)
Chest of the Corrupted Conqueror (Alfenster)
Creche of the Final Dragon (Sacritus)
Chest of the Corrupted Vanquisher (Farek)
FBF stopped by one of the generals of the Old Gods and decided he was positively rude. His room was filled with swarms of blobs filled with all kinds of unseemly things. We gladly dispatched of them, one at a time. Jortsu himself also seemed quite tired, so we granted him his eternal sleep with pleasure.
3/8 down, next up: Ultraxion!
Yor'sahj the Unsleeping HC
Soulshifter Vortex (Feanoris)
Scalpel of Unrelenting Agony (Enasias, Hituc)
Leggings of the Corrupted Conqueror (Ithos, Cabbus)
Spire of Coagulated Globules (Illyria)
The girl that had been pulling those sudden perfect frontside ollies over our dead bodies, finally got snaked and we went and collected what was ours. After getting the hang on the coordination of phases we were still constantly haunted by "random" deaths that were keeping us from getting things really going.
As things started to go better. It was still the classic last try of the night that made us play it almost perfectly.
Good job to everyone! and lets keep on working hard for our common dream... a gnome druid tank.
Hagara the Stormbinder HC
Runescriven Demon Collar (Sacritus)
Treads of Dormant Dreams (Cartmanus)
Bracers of the Banished (Cabbus)
Girdle of the Grotesque (Pawsofsteel)
Shoulders of the Corrupted Vanquisher (Fagina, Ruiti)
While the siege of the Wyrmrest temple was underway, Finnish Brute Force selected a secret recruitment officer to find more raiders and help. Instead of real players, a dark prince was found. Wrathion, the son of Deathwing himself, rebelled against his parents as any teenager would and decided to send our human female rogue, Tac on an adventure of her own to find something pretty to wield and help the guild in the long run.
Tac had no easy task infront of her. She was to kill every living remnant of the Black Dragonflight to prove her might and cunning. Pick pocketing Hagara and looting countless of mythical fragments from various bosses, she finally gathered enough to forge a pair of daggers with the help of Wrathion. Those hollow shells were not perfect from the start and would need a soul. So, more pieces of Deathwings minions were required.
At last, after few months, the daggers were ready to wield their true power. All that was left was the mighty sharpening! What else would you use to sharpen your cutlery than the jaw of Deathwing himself! So the harbinger of death was harbinged and the Fangs of the Father were born. Gz Tac!
FBF has cleared the first heroic boss of Dragon Soul. Despite our best efforts, some folks have been more active and some less active, which has led to a series of normal mode farming runs.
This is all about to change. FBF is seriously at it now, with increased recruiting and general tomfoolery, we are activating our raiding section to actively pursue other heroic kills. You're more than welcome to join us. This news post has been provided to you by our world famous Stetson-Harrison method of picking the guy who knows how to write at least something, since our regular news writer went and got himself a real life character slot increase. Congrats to Vanaar on your kid, you left us hanging.
Please come back so our regular news can return. Pretty please?
Morchok HC
Hand of Morchok (Itza)
Indomitable Pride (Sraaz)
Sporebeard Gauntlets (Illyria)
Robe of Glowing Stone (Ithos)
Petrified Fungal Heart (Alfenster)
